ave you noticed that each time you come to my blog, you can find a different random quote at the top of my header (under the page links)? No, well look up there lol. This page displays all the quotes that randomly show up.
In three words I can sum up everything Ive learned about life: it goes on.
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come.
I only want two things in life: Everything. Now.
We're drowning in information, but starving for knowledge
Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought
Where's my clue-by-four...
My life is a blonde moment.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
The road to success is always under construction.
Gene Police: You!! Out Of The Pool!
Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don't think of until too late.
I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
I dream for a living.
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.
Every survival kit should include a sense of humor.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
After God created the world, He made man and woman. Then, to keep the whole thing from collapsing, He invented humor.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Warning: Humor may be hazardous to your illness.
Humor is... despair refusing to take itself seriously.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Above all else: go out with a sense of humor. It is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.
Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs - jolted by every pebble in the road.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.
Today is the last day of some of your life.
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
May those who love us love us,
and those who do not love us,
may God turn their hearts,
and if He cannot turn their hearts
may He turn their ankles
that we may know them by their limping.
and those who do not love us,
may God turn their hearts,
and if He cannot turn their hearts
may He turn their ankles
that we may know them by their limping.
When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile way and you have their shoes.
Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years.
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